Day 29

Day 29 ---> Someone  i want to tell everything to , but too afraid to

Errr I dun think there is anyone cos normally im quite outgoing . I dun mind ppl noe my secrets and all but you better dun betray me . I dun mind u betraying me with my secrets cos my trust to everyone was only 50% except for ppl who are really close to me . Plus normally , things i told ppl were all normal . The really secrets were still with me . My everything , ppl around me noes . I wun hide frm them cos friendship nd trust . No point hiding frm them . If they dk u enough , u will be the hurt isn't it ?

" The only feeling "

Feelings . Feeling hurts . They hurts ppl . Having moodswing today . How pro I am . Almost everyday , im having moodswing . Why ? Idk . I bet i had hurt alot of ppl when im having moodswing especially my laogong . Whenever im having moodswing , my laogong is the one who will tio all my harsh words . I will say somethings weird like my world doesn't hav the word friends anymore . Sometimes i do think like tht cos i think tht im forever the odd one out . So wht having lots of friend ? More friends = more betrayers . I do wonder wht is true friends sometimes although i noe i hav . Sometimes , yup , im just so naive . i noe im childish . I shouldn't hav vent my anger on my friends . Sry ppl . I didn't meant to do tht . Psps .

Randomly saw this note . I think its somehow meaningful :>

女孩一辈子只需要4个朋友

1. 她们里面一定要有一个比你什么都强，比你美貌，比你有能力，比你有气质，比你有掌控力，哪怕你是女主管，你是万人心目中的成功女性，但你也得听她的。因为 她不需要男人，她自己掌握自己人生，会重装系统，会分辨东南西北，一把进位……但她还充满风情，绝不是男人婆。她会让你有成长的空间，有目标，有垃圾桶。 她绝对不会跟着你继续自怨自艾，她应该是狮子座，或者白羊，掌控力超好，每次都能在你迷茫的时候一语点醒你，她告诉你，什么都是自己造成的，所以，只能成 长，不要抱怨。

2.她们里面还要有一个，这个人迷迷糊糊，遇到一点点小小的感动就大哭不止，她是服务型朋友，她热爱生 活， 非常热爱，每天无忧无虑，为你做什么她都高兴，因为她就是喜欢和你在一起，听你说话，给你说她的理想，给你说她的小秘密。她会问你她应该做什么，她应该留 什么发型，化什么妆，穿什么衣服，你说的她都相信，一一照办。她激发你的母性，让你学会照顾别人，关心别人，在小小优越感的同时也感染她的无忧无虑，25 岁的你和她在一起，也会变得是成熟的。


3. 第三个，她热情美丽，她也很成功，工作上进努力，爱情努力，装扮努力。她给你的是新鲜的人事物，给你讲你从来不曾经历过的有趣的故事，她就是你朋友里面最有故事的人，你没有办法过的生活，你没有办法经历的人生，她都会展现给你看，像看电影一样，有激情的人生。

      4. 最后一个，和你过着从来不一样的人生的人，你世俗，她不需要，因为她从小接受良好教育，衣食无忧，家底殷实，母亲的贤良温婉大气智慧给了她平静的心灵，不 需要承担任多余的责任，随着自己的理想发展。深爱艺术，她可能是插画师，可能是专栏作家，但是没有很出名，到处能看到她的小作品，温暖而善良。同样感性的 她是你生命中的净土，和她在一起，给你平静的力量，不需要争斗什么，生活原本就应该这样好。

那么你是什么样的人呢？

只 有在晚上卸下防备，卸妆保养之后，男友睡着之后才展示真正的你自己，你写你的blog，看你喜欢看的电影，读你喜欢的书，不为了谁再说一些话，讨好一些 人，这时候，想想你的这四个朋友，你会觉得，够了，就是这样，没什么缺憾，尽管睡在身后的男友呼噜声雷动，尽管他并不那么懂你。


I hav a friend who is blur , something like number 2 , which is my laogong ^^ . Currently , i cant find anyone who is number 1 , 3 ,4 . How sad it is . LOL . I saw another note . Title is 时间对了 、再爱你 . I found this note very meaningful . True , 时间对了再爱你 . Im waiting . There's one song 突然好想你 . 我不是突然很想他 . 我是突然想起他的一举一动 . 想起他的一举一动会突然微笑叻 . I wonder why his action must all be so funny . Everyday , there is at least a period of time when im smiling cos i tot of his actions . His actions make me smile . But wht i wan most is just his smile . His smile could really make my day . But i noe its just so hard .. :<


Dear 11:11 , i miss his actions badly . I hadn't see him play basketball for quite a long time . I had a necklace which is a boy playing basketball . This really reminds abt him . I promise , i will not avoid his eyes anymore . I promise if he give me a smile , i will smile back . I promise i will not be hyper when i walk past him , no matter is it with friends or not . I hope tht he is the one who could control my emotions cos i noe i will guai guai listen to him .在拥有之前 , 一定需要付出代价 .I noe . I understand but 我要付出到几时 ? Im tired .. Tired of giving in to my sis . How i wish someone could hlp me with all the problems . I miss the peaceful life i had . I miss my innocent look ! I hope tht im no longer lazy anymore . I hope tht my homework could be done as soon as possible and i could start my revision . I hope tht my wish could be true . Express , here i come ! And lastly , i hope tht i can see the red moon tonite ! I hope tht i can still be awoke frm 3-5 am ltr (:


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