' A break frm life , i guess , will make me feel better

 

  “ 到了最後 ，我们不可能有结果 。到了最後 ，我没辦法 ，我只能放弃 ，不管自己有多伤心 ”

I need a break frm life , cos im sick and tired of reality . I need a break , im sick of tired of having this feeling . And in the end , my heart has to be broken again ... :<

Dear heart , i didn't meant to hurt u . I didn't meant to let anyone hurt u . Sry , but u hav to be shattered again . I noe me this owner vry useless but i really didn't mean to hurt u . 

Your dear owner 

心里不管再痛 ，自己不管有多伤心 ，我只能跟自己說一句話 ；自己跟他无縁 。累了 。看著恩恩愛愛的情侶 ，我很妒嫉 。今天看到妳 ，不懂自己哭了几次 。我尽量忍住不哭 。告诉自己不管怎樣都不能哭 。眼淚 不乖不听話 。最後還是掉了 。還掉很多 。Im trying . Trying to be strong infront of everyone . Trying to hav my smile everytime , everyday . Trying to control my tears and dun let it drop infront of myself . But i failed . My smile is hiding behind me . Its not bright enough . My tears dropped in the end . I cant be strong any longer . I noe i wun be able to sleep tonite . So i decided to cry out loud . No matter whr i go now , i just feel like crying . Im sad . Really sad . Idk wht had happened and i turn out like tht . I still got 2 more papers to go . I cant lost focus . But srsly this time round i think i will :< 

11:11 . Im sick of all this nonsense . Im sick of waiting . Its the more painful thing on Earth . Im sick of all the 'test' God give me . I cant hang onto it anymore . Im just too weak to hang on . "Sometimes, unless you take the initiative, nothing will happen . " If  none of us take the initiative , we wun even be friends . Sry boy . I miss u badly . I hope to see u badly . But this is the decision i made after seeing u . I noe we wun hav ending . We wun even hav a starting . Everytime when i sneeze , we will assume its u . Like wht i say , assume . We assume alot of things . And its all gonna be fake . Its time for me to face reality . Its time for me to accept pain . I nd to grow up and try accepting the pain i will hav . After my exams , i will try giving up . So long u are happy , i dun mind . I wan my papers to be well-ly done . I wan my results to be nice enough on my report slip . 

到了最後 ，注定要伤心吧 。儍瓜 ，放了吧 。