When im gonna try hard going stronger , i hope u wun appear

" And in the end , i still cant be happy and forget u "

Everything is different , everything changes . Past is past , accept it and move on . When im young , i read fairytales . And in the end i believed it . Thinking tht finding ur prince is as easy as ABC . When im older , its just so difficult .  Everytime , i tot tht its really so easy . But nope it wasn't . " The longer he looks into ur eyes , the more he is interested in you . if he cant look into it long enough , there's a great chance tht he wants to conquer u . After tht , he will just leave u ." Everytime u look at me , not bcos i dw to look back . But its becos i cant look long enough . Im the kind whr i'll avoid eye contacts . Not tht i dw look back . Its becos i just want u and not others . I miss those days when u dun fail to look at me . No matter how much i miss , i cant hav it now . I miss the days seeing ur actions . But now i hav difficulities seeing u :< I looks like i dun care . But u dk tht how much i wish to care . No one noe tht im actually torturing myself :< Its really pain , its really upset . 

Im gonna cry out loud tonite . I cant afford to hav such a heavy heart . Having such a heavy heart , going to sch is tiring . Heart's gonna burst . Too much things inside . Cry le , tmr smile . I noe his picture is my wallpaper . I noe its gonna be hard forgetting him . But , let him be my motivation for my EOY first . After EOY . I promise . I'll forget him totally . I'll still cry bcos of him bcos both of us dun hav the chance anymore . But doesn't mean tht i will lost focus for my EOY . Today , tired maxx . Bcos of sofa , i woke up damnnn early :< I guess , in my heart , i still cant forget him . I still cant control myself . No matter how hard i make myself to be busy , i still cant forget him . 

Dear you . U noe how much i miss u ? U noe how much im torturing myself bcos i miss u badly and trying to forget u ? Boy , i really dk how im gonna forget u . I only noe im not gonna hav mood , hav hopes any longer . Im gonna focus on EOY . I guess u wun noe how i feel . I noe u wun care . Its me , one sided liking u . But its really hard to :<

Nth special today . Mood , sad and happy ? Im not gonna be strong girl but im gonna be a girl who will face everything with a smile . Im not gonna let others worried abt me . Jiayun damnn sweet . Send me a emo whale . I noe its refering to me . I noe she's trying to make me happy . Thanksss lots ♥ After EOY i promise . Im gonna be happygirl98 in sch and while going out with all my beloved babes and let u all see the happy me ♥ I noe all my friends dun wish to see me like tht . I will try my best to overcome all prob and be a happygirl98 again . 

我会振作起来，我不会在轻易掉下眼泪。我还是我。只是我需要时间让我变回以前的那个我。过了今天，我会乖乖的温习功课，我不会再哭，我会开始面对现实。不会在找理由逃避