QQ

" If tht is the kind of feeling .. "

Tears ? Wht are tears ? Im sick of tears dropping down my eyes . It makes me feel so uncomfortable tht idk how it feels when dropping down . It makes me so blur tht idk how it looks like anymore . In my world now , idk how tears looks like , idk how it feels when tears are dropping down . Be a happygirl98 isn't it good ? At least ppl wun worry for me any longer . I dun wish ppl comforting me . I dun like tht kind of life . Seeing them comforting me makes me feel more like crying . Its more painful . Seeing them comforting me , seeing them feeling sad while comforting me , its just more stress . Happygirl98 , this is me . Tears no longer drop frm my eyes . Everything is just so perfect . I dun wish anything to change but just more happiness . 

Today , should i say another fine day or sad day ? Im hyper in sch . But after tht everything seems to change . I just hate ppl to deng me or diao me . Just only noe how to stare , its just irritating using tht kind of eye contact with me . U buay song me tell me can ? Dun hav the guts den control ur eyes luhh . Look look look . I noe u damn buay song , but confront me will be faster . Staring over there will just only make me think tht u dun hav the guts , trying to hide behind . To me , this is call useless ppl . Just only noe how to act big nia . If u wanna deng / diao , den continue . I make sure u get back wht i had and even worse . I noe u older den me . But if u dun give me the respect , why must i give u face ?

After reaching home , heart weird weird de . Its like suddenly tio bitten by ants . I feel like crying . But tears cant drop . Plus i dun even noe why i wanna cry . Bitten by ants ? How pro i am . Since when ants came into my heart when i did not even hav the happiness i want . My heart wasn't as sweet as i want . Why ants wanna bite my heart ? Im having enough troubles nowadays . Im having troubles in maths and some personal problems . And yet , this kind of things are happening to myself currently . Pathetic . This isn't the life i wanted . The life i wanted is sweet , peaceful and simple . I just want my world to be as sweet as sweets , as simple as the colour white . I dun really nd peaceful life so long i hav my beloved to be with me . I dun nd peaceful life , so long my beloveds are supporting me throughout . I dun nd peaceful life , so long my beloveds wun leave my alone . Its just simple wishes . And yet i couldn't get wht i want . I just want my world to be fulled with colours , colours tht belongs to me and my beloveds . Its just so difficult . I just want my world to be fulled of happiness . Wishes are just so difficult to fulfil . No matter how hard i tried to tell myself not to give up , sometimes i do hav the feeling of giving up . I hate waiting . So wht if i wait ? I cant get things i want . But i hate the feeling of giving up . I mind alot if i dun get the things i wanted . But so wht ? The miserable feeling really hurts . I had enough of this kind of feelings srsly .. I just wish everything could just fulfil and let my world to be as sweet as possible , as colourful as i wanted . Simple life , colourful world , happy me ♥

Dear 11:11 , I had been wondering when i can peaceful life ? I feel somehow being tortured now . Im sick of this kind of life . No point waiting srsly . I really wanna give up all my hopes . But without getting wht i want and i chose to give up , the feeling really sucks . So wht if i carry on waiting ? I might not get wht i want . Choosing between giving up or not giving up is really difficult .  I just hope my wishes could be fulfilled really fast , make me enjoy the rest of my life . I just hope sweet life quickly come . Beloveds wun leave my alone . I dun wish seeing them one by one , leaving me . Friends are the most important thing to me now . Without them , i really dk how im gonna survive . I hope after today , everyday is a better day for me . Im sick of struggling everyday . And lastly , imisshim . I noe he wun noe anything and he wun even care . No point saying when he wun care but i dun think i hav choice either . Thats wht my heart says . thts wht my hands type . Im just following my heart now . I dun wish to care . I will just leave my heart to decide everything . If i care more , im sure tht i will hurt more . This is no longer me . Im happygirl98 ! ♥