Bored

 

 " 世界上还有真正的爱情嚒 ?

If he noe , will everything remains the same ? If he noe how i feel , will everything change for a better ? But even if he noe tht , will he choose to face it ? Even if he noe , will he choose to care ? Everything is just dream . The dream  which is nice but yet cant be reality . Wake up and thats it . 

Playing netball for the nxt few pe lessons . Im one of the captains . Sian . Dun wish to be cos got wht debrief thingy to do de . But best thing is captains dun hav to do much things . I feel so moody .  I wonder why . Its like almost every sat im so moody . I suddenly feel like crying . Idk why . My eyes are so dry .. Tio sot until so pathetic . Hopefully my eyes wun be pain any longer . I was looking at the neoprints i took ytd and before . I suddenly realise i really took alot of neoprints . Ytd de was the nicest . Idk why .

Happygirl98 , whr u ? Why i could be so hyper ytd , this afternoon , but why not now ? Is it becos of the emo song im listening now and im so sleepy which makes me feel like sleeping ? Thats why im so emo ? If thts the case , i would rather not listen any longer . Im finally back to happygirl98 . Suddenly going back to the sad girl doesn't seems to be me . Im just so hyper last time , just now . But why my mood changes just so fast ? Seeing ppl who are really happy , im really jealous . Seeing ppl who doesn't seems stress at all , im really jealous . Seeing ppl who are strong , im so jealous . Why cant i go back to the past me , who is strong , brave , who is forever happy , staying in the world without any troubles , who is really very relax . Why is it just impossible to go back to the old me ? I miss everything i once had . I really wish sleeping could cure everything . I dun wish to wake up , facing the new me who is so emo , no longer brave and strong . I nd the motivation i once had . I wan the ones i loved to be with me no matter wht . If everything could go back to the past , wht will happen to me now ? I wonder ...

Im waiting for the correct time to express my feelings . Im waiting for my tears to drop down to make me feel alright . I noe i broke my promise again . Probably i should say happygirl98 doesn't suits me at all . Suddenly , i think tht my world doesn't hav friends . My dictionary dun hav this word . Idk why .. It seems tht i hav been drifting apart with all the ppl who had enter my life before , the ppl who i noe before/ now . It seems tht im useless . I suddenly feel like commiting a suicide . I really hate my mood to change . I will start to txt ppl nonsense again . I guess im gonna let ppl worried again . Im sry . Really sry . I cant control my mood . I cant think positively . Even if can , its just a few days , a few hours . I dun understand why im on earth when im just useless . Im just a burdan for everyone . So wht if i can joke with u ? Smile at u ? I feel so moody still . Thinking of u doesn't works at this time . Normally it just works no matter wht time is it . But i dun think it works this time . I just wish to lie on my bed , hopefully i could sleep while thinking of u and tmr , it will be a better day for me .

A brand new day , a brand new starting . I hope tht rainbow will appear in my life tmr and everything will be fine . I dun wish to send nonsense msgs tmr cos i dun wish friends to be worried . Everything just hurts . But im trying to get out frm the pain . Imisshim .