I guess im back to the normal girl life (Y)

I've changed becos of pain . Pain indeed , make me grow up and make me change my temper i guess . Probably i had changed badly , probably its just abit . I guess no one would bother to care whether if i had changed anot cos my existence is jus only odd one out . Probably , i learnt how to give up alr . Giving up , sometimes is really good . I've learnt not to put my hopes high up cos i noe everything will become 0 and i will really hurt like hell . I dun nd anyone to pity me . I wun show my tears in public . If i show in public , wht i gain was actually pity but wht i really wanted is just care frm peeps and show me tht they are my true friends . Sometimes , i really wanted to leave in my own world . But sometimes , im hyper with friends around . So wht do i wan ? Me myself also dk . I guess , even myself dun understand . I guess , its time to think how to understand myself before letting ppl understand myself le bah .

Songs tht exactly describing my feelings , ilovethemlots ! Sometimes , listening to them my tears will just drop . Cry will make me feel better i really agree . But sometimes after crying , u will still feel hurt . I guess , i miss Genting now . I miss the days thr , feeling so happy , no worries . Srsly , im scared of relationship le . Really scared le . Seeing ppl quarrel and patch , im really scared of relationship le .. I noe sometimes i wish my dream to come true . But sometimes not . Im scared . Seeing ppl patch , quarrel . Im scared tht my dream is true . Im scared of relationships . I always wanted to hav a relationship but i guess now , no more le bah . Single life , ftw ! (Y) Life do sucks sometimes but overcome it .

Ihatestayingathome ! Home sucks ttvc~! Ihatediehome . I wish to leave this home as soon as possible . But if wan leave home = dream mus come true . Haish . Idk wht to do now . 暗纞的感觉真的很痛苦 . 我在想我到底是怎様渡過的 . 或許也是時候放手了吧 . 繼續這樣我會死啊 ，給暗纞 折磨死的 .

Probably even patching up with friends , im still not happy . Is it becos of tht thingy which caused me not to be happy ? Yea i guess so . Hopefully after tht thing finish , i will be hyper and happy again .